How can I become a VIP?
You can scale people’s importance, it’s a thing. I am currently in upper mid-table of the unimportant people, trying for that breakthrough into the important people. My social media score is too low to go any further and I am not rich enough to get anywhere near Very Important Person status 😦
Correct me if I am wrong but it seems to me the importance scale is directly linked to the wealth scale. I am not sure, but it is an awful coincidence that all the people society deems important are also rich. Very few poor folk seem to be held in high regard. It is like the chicken and the egg, which came first the importance or the money?
The question could be what defines importance? For this I look to where society uses the term VIP and who society listens to in the media. That is not a fair judgement I hear you cry, that is not who I deem important I hear you wail. You are probably correct, but that’s not how the world works, society simply loves to value some people more than others, sorry Mom.
In the grand scheme of things, the most important people are maybe microbiologists who are curing and preventing diseases from killing millions. But most microbiologists I know fly economy and don’t have areas in nightclubs fenced off with a gold rope and a giant security guard. Instead behind that rope is a very important reality TV star from The Bachelorette. Ok that is a lie, I don’t know any microbiologists and yet somehow I know who Kim Kardashian is….. sigh.
Is it a societal problem that VIP exists or is it just a bullshit term that people with money pay to receive and we shouldn’t worry about it? The swagger of importance that follows wealth is often misplaced. You are an NFL running back, congratulations but should we be hanging on your every word? The difficulty justifying this comes when you try to explain this to children.
‘Yes, I know that Cristiano Ronaldo is extremely good at kicking the ball son, but you could be an accountant like Dave’
It’s a tough sell – the unadorned life, who dreams of hours behind a desk, nights on the couch and waiting in line at the DMV? Children see who society deems important and want to also be important. Some want to be a hip-hop or YouTube star with gold teeth and face tattoos, and who would blame them? Their lives look interesting and they get a lot of attention.
When I tell a story at the bar, I love it when people listen to it, waiting on my every word. It gives me sense of importance. I can only imagine the sense of importance one can get when they have a media storm around them and people screaming their name just to look their way. I would probably get carried away with my importance, just call me Lord Legend from now on. I may grace you with my presence if I feel like it.
We will never stop the waves of dubious important people invading our consciousness. I used the word dubious, but I shouldn’t because who are we to judge who is important in the world? If they are important to others in the world, they are important, end of story, like it or not. The only thing we can control is who we find important. Who we listen to and who we admire.
On one level I value many people on social media, I must, or I wouldn’t be following them. I am happy with who I follow, from the athletes to the comedians. This is the level of important people in my life who I have no physical interaction with, they just entertain or inspire me.
On another level I know who I find important on a more personal level. Who I contact constantly, these must be my VIPs and probably are your true important people.
So, next time I hit the club I expect to see my mom, my wife, my close friend and my brother behind the red rope, sipping champagne, with platinum teeth, face tattoos and surrounded by the gold diggers because they are the real VIPs…. for me.
Why am I not happy all the time?
Does happiness need sadness? The yin to the yang, the water to my fire. Do we only notice the happiness when we are not happy? We look back and think at about how happy we were – although we didn’t take time to acknowledge this at the time. At the time we were too consumed in trivial matters to notice our beautiful happiness.
Is there a medium state between happy and sad where we sit most of the time or is it a continuum? A scale from zero to one hundred, that we all move up and down throughout our lives, changing slightly every second. Could happiness be just the state you reach when your sadness scale is at zero? When you have nothing else to bother you and your mind is at peace are you then happy? When all the emails have been forgotten, when all the complaints are distant memories and all the bitterness has disappeared. For a moment are you in perfect one hundred percent happiness? The issue with this is maybe like me if you notice you are happy you remember suddenly that you are annoyed by something. ‘I know there was something that was bothering me, what was it again?’, damn it, I am back to 78% happy.
Happiness is of course unique to everyone. My happiness is not the same as yours and I shouldn’t presume that I know how you feel when you are happy or sad. It is a mystery of the human mind, we cannot conclude consensus although we often presume it. Like colour blindness for example, what I see is not what others see, we are not sure exactly what colours we each see. Descriptions of colours are similar but the minutia are different. In happiness the minutia is everything, and a single grain of rice will tip the scale.
One event can happen to a human that can push them off the edge of happiness into the pit of sad despair. Sliding down the slope gathering negativity as he slides deeper. He can forget what happiness even looked like.
This doesn’t seem to happen with happiness, no one event can bring you long lasting euphoria. Momentary euphoria maybe but not a sustained period. So, is the road to happiness a classic one step forward two steps back? Or a constant greasy mountain climb that we can never stop on because we will start to slide backwards towards sadness. Is life a constant battle to maintain happiness with new hipster practices – yoga, positivity, mindfulness and meditation.
Sadness to happiness might be like hunger to eating. Hunger makes eating pleasurable, it is ‘the best sauce’. There is little enjoyment eating if you are full. Hunger when it is elongated is starvation. Like hunger, a little sadness could be the key to wonderful highs of happiness. Like starvation, too much sadness is without the happiness on the horizon is life threatening.
Happiness could be mastering your sadness. If sadness is a constant then it is our reaction to it that defines our mood. Having a perspective on all sadness could be the key. Having strategies to remind you how to be happy. My favourite of these is gratitude. Focusing on what is amazing in your life and giving thanks for it.
Can you be happy and sad at the same time? Aren’t you forgetting all the emotions? You have made it all a bit too simple John. What about fear, anger, excitement and surprise to mention just a few? Do they add or take from happiness or sadness? Is there a very complicated set of vectors that take your mood in several directions at once? That sounds too complicated, I prefer the more black and white theory of – happy or sad. Unfortunately, the human mind just isn’t that simple, if it was, we would have figured it out by now.
Many questions but not many answers I am afraid. Go on figure your happiness out for yourself, no will else is going to do it for you, sorry.
What is the Antidote to your Ego?
Paul walks into a room after getting employee of the month for closing the Gibson account, earlier he had proved Michael wrong with his well-crafted email, he makes a joke, everyone laughs and then he gets complemented on his fresh new suit. His head begins to swell uncontrollably.
‘Quick, he is dying of over-ego, get me the antidotes’ – its Doctor AntiEgo to the rescue
‘Sure thing Doc’
Doc reaches into his briefcase to find the picture of Paul when he wet himself in high school and play a voice note from his ex-girlfriend talking about his tiny manhood. Paul’s head returns to size, much relief all round. Another person saved by Docs trusty briefcase of ego antidotes.
Paul is relieved, thanking Doctor Antiego he asks him ‘what would I have done if you were not around?’.
After a moment to ponder the Doc replied ‘you would have died from smugness and self-importance’
‘Wow, thanks Doc, you are the best Doctor ever so amazing at your job, you are right I need to control my ego and may I say you are quite dashing in that superhero outfit’
With that the Doctors head starts to expand, he has a panicked expression. Who will save the good Doctor Antiego?
The attendees at his funeral made sure to stay humble, to admit to mistakes and to avoid self-important wallowing. The Doctor didn’t perish in vain.
Possibly the main problem with ego is the inability of someone to admit when they are wrong. Do you think you are always right? If so, I am afraid you got yourself a bit of an ego problem there. What is the antidote to this? We all must be wrong some of the time.
I notice myself sometimes try and spin events, so they look like I have been in the right, when knowing I have been at ‘fault’. It must be in human nature to do this, I am working on stopping because I think this is my ego trying to hang onto my infallibility.
Humans make mistakes, to admit we are wrong can often be seen as weakness. To admit we are wrong when there is no pressure to do so takes huge strength of mind and therefore should be seen as a strength. Look at politicians who will fight tooth and nail to maintain infallible status. The perceived weakness in a mistake. Frustrating thing is that this is what we admire in our public figures, because when they do admit a mistake, we tear them limb from limb – hashtag twitter storm.
Ego has trapped us in a world of self-importance, we are important to ourselves, but we shouldn’t overestimate the importance to others of our world, our opinions (don’t you worry I get the irony), our pictures and our words.
Are You Dependable?
What makes a person dependable? From arriving on the scene when you run out of gas, to being a shoulder to cry on when the need is most. Is that the limits of dependability? Saying ‘yes I’ll be there in a minute’ when there are clear cries for help? Maybe it is someone who says nice things about you when you are not around, defending your honour?
We all like to think we are dependable, but have you ever shared a secret after swearing to never tell? The temptation to blurt out the juiciness might just be too much for you sometimes, oh it’s too good not to say. A realist would say it is too much work and takes too much effort to be dependable all the time as people take advantage of the dependable. By being reliable and saying yes to every request you have less time for you. I have set my level of dependability at a solid 76%, just turn the dial it’s easy. At this percentage I am trying to be as honest, helpful and comforting as I can without a large amount of self-sacrifice. It is difficult to go beyond this level, that is where you start putting others first, possibly the next level of dependability. Does ultimate dependability come at the cost of all your own goals and ambition?
Most people’s own dependability probably won’t change that much, and people may have formed their opinions of you already. Is it better to be dependable or dependent? It is seeming as though it would be easier to be on the other end of dependability, like a needy child always receiving what they want otherwise a tantrum would follow. It doesn’t seem like a very rewarding life when it is free from struggle. Maybe the answer it to be dependable not dependent to a degree that makes you happy. Easy said, now to find your 76%.
Are you the product of your decisions?
Are you the product of your decisions or the combination of luck and shit happens like the equation below?
Luck + Shit Happens = Life Path
How much can you affect your own life? We enter a day having premade a lot of choices before we even start, how many of those choices were your decisions? The daily drift through life where your decisions are made from necessity to fulfill another’s choice could be considered not really living. Living may be choosing your own path. Do you decide when to get up or do you get up at the latest possible time to make it to work? This hasn’t been your choice. This is your bosses or company’s choice and you are stumbling through your automatic day which has been based on others choices. Shouldn’t your life be the product of your decisions? Or maybe we are happier if someone else takes that responsibility and we just cruise from bed to work to boxset forever.
When will be the last time someone says your name?
Man this is a morbid one. Ok I get it I will die, but for my memory on earth to have a finite lifespan is depressing. Someday, somewhere, someone will say your name for the last time. Have you said the name of your great, great, great grandmother recently? Maybe with more technology and more records your name will live for longer, but still probably no one will care eventually. Technically you have existed because your name is stored somewhere but some generation will forget you and probably sooner than you hope. Legacy is hard to leave. How many people who died over 100 years ago can you name? You will not be naming your direct relatives but probably some war ‘heros’, inventors or musicians. Let’s face it you’re not Elon Musk or John Lennon so maybe the thought of long-term legacy is something you shouldn’t give much time to. Is this a reason to give up on it all and drift into the world of laziness? Unless I invade a country or write an Opera I will be forever forgotten, swoon. Or maybe it is the perfect motivation to start something epic and memorable.
Will you even care? You will be dead, it won’t matter. Being here now is all there is, the next breath is just this breath. Enjoy now, right now. Recognize your time is short and precious. Your time is your time, not anyone else’s so spend it in ways that serve you or what you truly value. But yes, it will happen, someone will say your name for one last time, I do wonder who will say mine and why?